Glad you didn’t make an “almost” comeback.
So last week I started the conversation about how we can
sometimes be the reason we don’t succeed.
I shared that sometimes we buy into mediocrity because it doesn’t make
us an ultimate loser. Remember, we “settle for the silver “cause it’s “better
than the bronze”.
I also shared that there are several reasons I believe
people stand in their own way, including, but not limited to past mistakes and
unrealistic expectations. And, I also promised if you came back, that I’d share
a few more ways people stifle and stumble to second rate success. So here we
go. Reason number three people stand in their own way…..
Fear- Pursuing a
dream takes courage, and it takes it for the long haul. However, if you are like people (I won’t say
most because you’re ego may lead you think you’re not, but you are more than
you probably want to admit) amidst courage, every now and again there is some
fear. Fear is normal. It’s what you do with fear that distinguishes the
champion, best, and number one from “What’s that guy’s name. Uh, you know the
one.”
So what are you afraid of?
The Unknown- Sounds kinda crazy, I know. But it’s
actually a pretty common fear. Fear of the unknown is the new fear of the monster
under the bed. Pursuing dreams as I said
takes courage which means taking risks. The unknown is inherent to risks. Sure
we can run numbers and look at “market research”. But nothing in life is
certain, including how our dreams unfold. Often times I encourage people to think of the
worse that could happen. Then I encourage them to think of the best possible
outcome. That often works. The envisioned joy, triumph, and satisfaction of the
best gives gumption. But then there are some who are still skeptics. So, I
encourage them to go back to the unknown and ask themselves if the decision
will lead to death or the loss of basic needs (i.e. housing, a job that could
lead to lost housing, etc.). If there are no consequences that would incur
death or loss of basic needs then by all means, do it. Besides, when you
finally do do it, it’s not unknown anymore now is it?
Failure- Similar to mistakes, failures happen. Don’t think because you graduated with the
3.89 you’re excluded. You’re not.
Failures can be pretty hard to overcome. They can definitely make you
wonder “What’s the point?” No one likes
not making the mark. However, you won’t know if you make the mark, or supersede
the target if you don’t try.
I remember a friend who is a fellow entrepreneur asking me “How
many shirts do you want to sell each month?” And I remember thinking “A
million.” However, what I said was, “I’m not sure.” A million may or may not
have been realistic, but what made me verbalize the “I’m not sure” was I was
afraid that I could set a number too high and fail to reach the number.
Well I eventually settled on a “realistic” number. And some
months I hit that number, twice I sold double, and several months I sold
considerably under. Phreedum hasn’t
closed shop.
Success- That’s the goal, yes? However, there are
some who worry about their ability to succeed and how it may change them or
change their relationships. You know the
song “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems.” Yeah, the more successful Biggie and Diddy
(formerly known as Puff Daddy) got the
more they incurred problems. And I’m sure their problems were like many people
who have accumulated financial wealth as a part of their success, including but
not limited to a more challenging time trusting people, defining and
maintaining their identity apart from their status and success, etc. Success also brings with it expectation. There
is an inherent expectation to continue to succeed and to actually supersede
your initial or former success. It’s great the first time you hit a goal. It’s
greater not when you hit it again, but when you go above. For some that can be anxiety producing and
the familiarity of mediocrity can become quite appealing. Don’t be fooled
however. Just as beauty is in the eye of
the beholder, so is success. You define success. Not the number of sales,
amount of money amassed, cars or properties purchased, degrees received,
children had or not had, or number of years in a marriage or whether it’s the
first or third union. Success is based
upon ideals, and you decide which ideals you adhere to.
Fear is real. But so is achieving your dreams. They are two
realities that often vie for much of our time and energy. The more we give the
possibility of achieving our dreams a chance, the less fear has of impeding the
process of possibility becoming reality.
I’m not sure where you’ve been but I’ve got a hunch you are
headed to greatness. Not almost greatness either. So, take a few moments to think about your
journey to greatness. Check and make sure you aren’t carry a three piece
luggage set marked fear of unknown, fear of failure, or fear of success. And, if you are put the bags down, and go
pack again. And if you can only take one bag on this trip, let it be faith.
Alright, well you already know, check back next week. I
actually have one more reason why people slide into second place so easily. You
know you’re curious, so just give in.
Curiosity killed the cat, not people. Live a little, and check back.
Until then, go be phearless.
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